


A Different Position

by KiaMianara



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Crack, Family Feels, M/M, Misunderstandings, bit of smut, settling in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2539034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiaMianara/pseuds/KiaMianara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "A Different Approach"<br/>They had expected that Starscream's defection wouldn't go over without a hitch, but the extend was certainly a surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had received much positive review on "A Different Approach" when I first published it on another side, that I decided on a sequel that came surprisingly easy to me XD
> 
> Disclaimer: not mine, not making any money here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flirting with Starscream had become somewhat second nature. It was about time Jazz made sure where he could possibly get with that.

* * *

 

Jazz starred in shock.

 

“Ye didn’t!”

 

“Oh, yes, I did” the seeker replied smugly. They had taken up their favourite positions, only that Starscream was now laying on Jazz’ berth instead of his own. It wasn’t much of a change, actually, if one ignored the random stuff laying around in what the saboteur referred to as `organised chaos´, but it was still Starscream on Jazz’ berth. The saboteur would have to thank Ironhide later for not defining where exactly they both should be locked up. Hearing Starscream retell the last week wouldn’t have been half as much fun in separate cells, not to mention that he had Starscream _on his berth_. Now Jazz knew for sure Primus existed and loved him very much.

 

“Megatron, of course, thought I was mocking him, but Soundwave’s expression was almost worth it.”

 

“Hard ta imagine with tha mask and visor.”

 

“I wouldn’t have believed it either, but he crashed his CPU. Skywarp had the chance to have a closer look and gave me a detailed description.”

 

“Man, I would have loved ta see that.”

 

“Well, from what Warp said his expression must have been a mixture of what Prowl and Prime just displayed. I was laughing too hard to ask him for pictures.”

 

The Autobot crackled. Starscream acting like the third in command must have been really too much for poor, stoic Soundwave.

 

“Okay, okay. I believe ya. So that was day one. What happened then?”

 

“Well, I spend day two and three pretty much under Hook’s _tender_ care and hiding in my lab until the old bin head had cooled down.”

 

“Aww, poor Stars. Want me ta kiss it better?”

 

“Very funny. After that I tried TC’s way, but, you know, it’s kinda boring to just stand around, wait for the next order and question life in general.”

 

“So ye did the Skywarp?”

 

“Primus, no! I wanted to keep some of my dignity intact, but I tried about everything else. Hook, Motormaster, Switchback ... I even tried to seduce him, but that really took the whole thing too far.”

 

“How so?” Jazz asked, mentally already planning his next trip to the Nemesis to leave some nasty surprises in Megatron’s chambers for touching his seeker in that context. It would be just as easy as assassinating the Decepticon leader, but that was forbidden on every possible and impossible level. He had had that particular discussion quite a few times with Prime already. Optimus didn’t even guess the true extent of what he really was capable of, but he was aware that the majority of what Jazz still did and had already done were things their leader absolutely didn’t want to know about and had argued that simply getting rid of Megatron wouldn’t solve their problem. The Decepticons had to be defeated openly or it wouldn’t change anything but their chain of command. Also, a known enemy was still better than an unknown enemy and that was a truth Jazz couldn’t argue with.

 

Be that as it may, the big guy certainly had never complained about `unexpected breaks´ from Decepticon antics and Jazz had simply `forgotten´ to write any protocols that extended updating the inventory lists. Sometimes he did it for the cause, sometimes because Prowl needed a break or to make sure Ratchet had enough time to repair everyone and catch some recharge and, yes, also to make sure Blaster and he could go to that concert they had waited the whole year for without any risk to be called away early.

 

“It was so ... _disgusting_. I was never so glad that one of my plans failed and I guess old bin-head thought the same. Didn’t even beat me up, just dragged me to Hook and demanded he check for everything. Too bad he couldn’t also erase my memory in the process. Primus knows, the thought alone still makes me sick. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea.”

 

“Could have been worse. Just imagine he would have accepted.”

 

It took two seconds for that sentence to sink in, then the seeker scrambled up and to the waste disposal in a corner of the room, emptying his tanks noisily. The saboteur pulled a face.

 

“Man, sorry about that. Didn’t think there for a moment” Jazz apologised honestly and petted the other’s back to help him relax.

 

“ _Never_ do that again!”

 

Jazz nodded understanding. One thing less he would have to worry about, three more to go.

 

“Guess ye trinemates would have had objections with that anyway” he noted when Starscream had stopped gagging and offered some coolant to get rid of the bitter after taste.

 

“Are you kidding me? They are too busy with each other to care. I’d be surprised, if they even noticed I’m gone yet.”

 

Strike two. Team Jazz was taking the lead.

 

“Funny. I would have bet ye were close.”

 

“Same has been said about you and Prowl. We are cousins, what’s your excuse?”

 

“Beat ya. Prowler’s me lil’ brother.”

 

“Little?!”

 

“Yeah, Ah’m older. Just imagine Prime’s face when we told him. Priceless.”

 

“Couldn’t have been better than Megatron’s expression when I just stood up and left. I wonder when he will realise I won’t return this time.”

 

“Ye won’t?”

 

“As long as your Prime doesn’t make me. I rather accept this mushy `protect the humans´ stuff than continue with the stagnation over there. And, no, I don’t plan on suburbing Prime. I have enough going through my processor without some ancient voices telling me what to do. You and your brother can keep your positions, too, but I want to see the lab.”

 

Jazz couldn’t help, but chuckle.

 

“I guess Percy won’t mind sharing. Just try playing nice for a bit. Not very outgoing that one.”

 

Strike three. Team Decepticon has lost the world champion ship; team Jazz, please come and collect the price.

 

“Are you done questioning me or was there some ulterior motive behind the whole thing.”

 

“Ulterior motive? Stars, I’m scandalized. I _never_ have ulterior motives.”

 

“You are the _prime_ example for ulterior motives. That whole thing with the different approaches … you _wanted_ me here. Well, here I am; what now, oh master of deception?”

 

Jazz grinned, slowly moving closer to the jet. Wings quivering, long, slender legs spread slightly ... Primus, one would think the other was inviting him. Either Ratchet had hit him once too often with that wrench or ...

 

“Deception, eh? Aren’t ye confusing something? I’m the Autobot and ye the Decepticon, remember?”

 

“Oh really? I was under the impression special ops and defectors are a bit of a grey area.”

 

That sleek grin, the sharp claws thrumming a pleasant rhythm on the berth. The seeker leaned back a bit more, definitely showing off now, and, Primus, what a sight it was.

 

“Are ye trying to seduce me?”

 

“You’ve been trying for weeks, it’s just fair I return the favour.”

 

At that point Jazz was already on top of Starscream, panting and searching the blazing red optics for any indication that this was a joke or misunderstanding. Who would have thought words could be such a turn on?

 

“If ye don’t want this, ye better be a fast little seeker right now, Stars, because I won’t be able to hold back much longer.”

 

Starscream’s smirk grew a bit wider and he locked his legs around the other’s hips.

 

“Then why don’t you come a little closer so I can show you how fast this little seeker really is?” he suggested and captured the other in a smouldering kiss.

 

Game, set and match for Jazz ... or for Starscream? The monochrome mech wasn’t exactly sure anymore who had seduced whom here, but he couldn’t care less as long as the jet didn’t stop doing that thing with his talented digits.

 

Not one to be easily outdone the saboteur caught himself and returned the ministrations, finally allowed to inspect the wings as much as he wanted, only that with Starscream laying on his back he hadn’t as much access to them as he would have liked to.

 

“Hold on.”

 

Surprised the seeker clawed into the other’s shoulders and suddenly found himself straddling Jazz’ hips.

 

“Much better” the monochrome mech commented and made full use of the new angle, fondling the wings to his sparks desire and desire he did. They had been dancing around each other for a long time with hardly touching more than necessary for the repairs needed and he was determined to use this opportunity to its fullest or at least for as long as he could.

 

“FRAGGING PIT! JAZZ, HOW OFTEN DID I TELL YOU TO LOCK YOUR FRAGGING DOOR?!”

 

“But ye’re using the medical override ...”

 

“DON’T YOU FRAGGING DARE ARGUING WITH ME! YOU TWO HAVE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE FOR A DAY, CRASHING RED, PROWL AND PRIME!”

 

The door fell shut behind the furious medic.

 

“That ... went better than anticipated.”

 

“You mean it’s like that every day?” the seeker asked surprised.

 

“No, today was rather calm. So ... where was I?”

 

“Oh, er ... somewhere between fondling my wings and getting under my canopy, I believe.”

 

“Ah, yes” Jazz grinned and went back to `work´.

 

They remained unbothered for the rest of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worries, talking and more than one surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of a time jump here, just so you know.

* * *

 

“Just say what bothers you so much” Starscream suggested, unnerved by the other’s pacing, but otherwise he didn’t move or even looked up from the data-pat with the schematics for one of Wheeljack’s newest pet-projects.

 

Jazz frowned, but did stop pacing. Since `joining´ the Autobots – moving in with him would probably better describe it – Starscream had notable calmed down. Oh, he was still his screechy, ever arrogant self, but after two weeks among them he was less prone to resort to violence. That was admittedly more thanks to their local science squad than Jazz’ tries to get the seeker on one table with their high command, although that had also been successful, at least for most parties involved. Prowl and Red Alert were pleased that they finally had some unsuspected aid in their never ending quest to talk some sense into Prime, while said Prime was probably still mopping around in his office and the tricoloured flier was as smug as ever about having gotten his will. A will that included being allowed to leave the base and fight. That, on the other hand, had also led to the sick feeling in Jazz’ tank and he was sure Ratchet couldn’t do anything about that.

 

“I don’t want ye ta go” the monochrome mech finally admitted, mentally preparing for the argument of his life. Starscream was honest, brutally so, and the monochrome mech loved every minute of it. After all the special ops `read between the lines´ stuff every day, it was very refreshing to just get an honest answer for once. Sadly enough the seeker was also easily offended, which made the whole thing a bit more difficult.

 

Well, there was no time like the present and with a bit of luck they would have some time left afterwards to make up.

 

“I thought I made it quite clear that I don’t plan to ever go back to Megatron, if I can help it. I’m not exactly comfortable with being called an Autobot and I doubt I ever will, but ...”

 

“That’s not what I meant” the saboteur interrupted as calmly as possible. “I don’t want ye ta go out inta battle.”

 

Three ... two ... one ...

 

Starscream sat up, visibly irritated, but he didn’t blow. Instead he requested (read: demanded) further explanation. He was after all a capable fighter and even better flier, Cybertron’s elite, not to mention that the seeker had been under the impression that Jazz would be highly entertained by having Starscream, the ban of every Autobot, fight for their righteous cause. Well, maybe not for the cause itself, but that were details and it wasn’t the point here.

 

“Ye’re a defector, Stars. Ol’ bin head will do his worst ta get rid of ye.”

 

“He tried and failed before.”

 

“Are ye sure?”

 

The seeker wanted to reply something, but then hesitated. Had Megatron really tried to kill him before? The answer was as simple as it was disturbing: he hadn’t. Oh, he had beaten him up and _almost_ terminated him, but only ever almost, although he had had enough opportunities and reasons. As second in command Starscream was and had always been disposable, that was a given, but with him Megatron would have and now had also lost his air commander and best trine and that was something he couldn’t afford, not with Cybertron so hard to reach. Being a seeker had been Starscrean’s life insurance, so to speak, but that also meant as soon as it sunk in that he really wouldn’t return this time, he’d be the prime-target, pun unintended.

 

That was indeed a problem, yet it wouldn’t change the winged mech’s mind. Starscream was a scientist, that was true, and he had to admit he had grown rather found of this new life, especially the part where people actually took his input serious, but that didn’t change that the seeker was also a warrior. He couldn’t just sit back, he _needed_ to fight. Not because of some high struck ideals or anything, but for his own sanity’s sake, and that was exactly what he told the other.

 

“Yeah, alright. Point taken. We’ll just have ta figure something out then. Guess there’s no way of convincing ye ta stay behind our lines?”

 

“Would you?”

 

Jazz sighed and sat down next to the flier.

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“ ... You are really worried, aren’t you?”

 

The astonishment in Starscream’s voice didn’t surprise the saboteur, neither did the other’s open wonder when he confirmed his words with a nod. Caring and being cared for in return was not something either of them was very familiar with when it didn’t concern close relatives. Of course, it sounded more reasonable for a Decepticon to limit their concern to their own wellbeing, but most Autobots would be surprised, or rather shocked, to learn how little they actually meant to the seemingly ever laid back and ever so social monochrome mech.

 

That didn’t mean he didn’t care at all, of course. He was always doing his best to get everyone out alive, but only for a selected few would he put his own life on the line and that were his brother, Mirage and Bumblebee – one didn’t become special ops without becoming family – and by extension also Hound, Cliffjumper and Red Alert, since their wellbeing was closely linked. Well, maybe Prime and Ratchet, too, since they were essential for the cause and actually good friends, but Starscream ... Starscream didn’t fall under any of those categories, yet the only limits Jazz could put on what he would do for the other was where the afformentioned mechs were concerned and, if he was honest, that scared him quite a bit. The seeker probably felt the same, worse even, since he only knew the worry for his cousins and no one else.

 

“That ... is strange. And what are we going to do now?”

 

“Not sure.”

 

“ ... How about a compromise? I won’t stay off the battlefield, but I’ll be careful and not let anyone provoke me into doing something stupid, if you can do the same.”

 

The saboteur frowned again.

 

“Guess that’s indeed the best option. Alright. So” he grinned lazily. “Wanna shake hands or something?”

 

“Eh, I think I have a better idea” the seeker leered pulled the other onto his lab.

 

“If ye are implying what I think ye are – and I know ye are – I must say I like the path yer thoughts are taking.”

 

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

 

“Ye certainly didn’t complain this morning” the monochrome mech purred, nibbling at his partner’s lips. When Starscream was in the mood to be dominant he certainly wouldn’t complain, although driving the other crazy with pleasure also had its peaks. Had he mentioned that he really liked this flexibility of their relationship? Well, he did.

 

The alarm blared and groaning the mechs parted.

 

“Of all the ways to kill the mood ...”

 

“Yeah, and three guesses who’s responsible for it.”

 

Grumbling in disappointment they slipped off the berth and headed for the entrance of the Ark, but before they left the room Jazz pulled the seeker again into another passionate kiss.

 

“Be careful.”

 

“Only if you are, too.”

 

*~*~*

 

It was actually pretty much the same scheme as always: Megatron was trying to steal energy – this time from a hydropower station – and when the Autobots arrived the sliver warlord revealed his newest `super weapon´, which was about as reliable as Wheeljack’s inventions, especially since he obviously hadn’t changed its design or anything at all since Starscream’s defection. One would think two weeks were enough for some alternations or that he’d just keep it back and let someone have a look at it. The Autobots, however, didn’t complain when their newest aerial addition could give a detailed description of how to activate the self-destruction mechanism he had installed in case Megatron decided to turn it against him. Between the laser fire Mirage sneaked in while a hologram made by Hound made it look like he was fighting alongside his lover, switched some cables, sneaked out and watched the whole thing blow sky high from a safe distance.

 

The explosion, however, had absolutely nothing to do with the retreat Megatron called out a few minutes later. That was the end result of the drama that had happened far above their heads and that Jazz had always kept a close optic on, just in case. His worry, however, was completely unnecessary, but he couldn’t have known that and neither could Starscream when he flew head first into the battle and soon had to face his cousins. It was a tense meeting, but the only one on this field that went without a single shot fired.

 

“Finally cooled off? Megatron wasn’t happy with your little stunt” Skywarp crackled.

 

“As if I care about that old fool.”

 

“If you want back in his good grace in this life, you better start kissing up to him right now.”

 

“But I don’t want to.”

 

The seekers tensed.

 

“That ... what do you mean?” the darkest of the three asked, looking from his cousin to his lover. Thundercracker and he came from different sides of Starscream’s family, but the records were lost with everything else in Vos’ archives, little as there had been to begin with, so the only prove that they were related at all were their own words, but, if their creator’s words were anything to go by, it had to be true. Family, but distant enough, not that anyone cared.

 

“I mean that I will _not_ return to Megatron.”

 

“You joined the Autobots?!”

 

“I don’t want to fight you, but I won’t let you attack them either.”

 

Skywarp backed off. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and thus usually stuck to the more simple rules, like the seeker code that dictated to always stick with your trine and family, but even he understood that Starscream had obviously defected for good this time and thus was an enemy and no longer part of their trine. That sounded about right, but why then did it feel so wrong and why was Thundercracker still floating over there?

 

“You really mean that? No crossing or double crossing, no ultimate evil plot? You really joined the Autobots?”

 

Starscream hesitated.

 

“Not ... really. I’m not saying the Autobots are right. Most of their believes are far too mushy in my opinion, but ... most of them loath to have me living with them and yet they treat me better than Megatron ever did, even before I started to challenge his leadership. That has to count for something and what are we supposed to do with universal domination anyway? It’s impractical and I have better thing to do that chase the impossible dreams of a crazy megalomanic.”

 

Thundercracker frowned, ever the most doubtful out of the three of them, but usually it was directed only at his own talents, not the other’s decisions.

 

“Are you sure about this?”

 

“Trust me, I’ve never been surer about anything.”

 

“What if you grow bored of them? You won’t be able to go back, if you pull this through.”

 

“I highly doubt that will happen anytime soon” Starscream replied and just so resisted the urge to search for the black and white frame he had become so familiar with. Thundercracker on the other hand had no such restrictions and did look down, searching for a mech usually not found at the front lines and awaited his approval, while Starscream confirmed again that this wasn’t about power, revenge or something like that at all. It was about doing the right thing for once and he had actually thought it through in great detail.

 

Finally the blue seeker found the one he had been searching for and when said mech caught his glace and nodded the blue seeker relaxed visibly.

 

“Good to see you’ve finally come to your senses” he said and gone were hesitation and doubt. “I was really starting to fear we would have to stand on opposite sides soon.”

 

Skywarp almost fell out of the clouds and for a change Starscream also looked as if he had no clue what was going on.

 

“I always had my doubt about this war, as you know. I only stayed because of you.”

 

“Wait, so you both defected and nobody cared to inform me?” the purple mech shrieked, pointing at them with his guns. He was confused, very much so, and a confused Skywarp was a very dangerous Skywarp for everyone around him.

 

“Warp, listen ...”

 

“No, TC. You left me for the Autodorks? You betrayed me, both of you!”

 

“Of course not! Megatron is wrong. It’s not right to enslave and/or destroy other races. I realised that a while ago and I happened to get into contact with an Autobot who ensured me we could have their assistance, if we’d turn away from Megatron. I admit I have given him hints about our plans now and then, but only under the condition that you two would remain unharmed and I would have never left without you, I promise.”

 

Skywarp was everything but convinced, while Starscream wasn’t sure whenever to be impressed that Thundercracker had managed to keep that a secret for so long or shocked about the same thing. Well, they would have time to discuss that later. First they needed to calm the dark seeker. Being left alone was an elemental fear of the other and something even the sarcastic air commander knew to meet with calm and patience.

 

“Warp, we’re still here, we haven’t left you and never would. You’re family. Why don’t you just join us? It’s not that much of a deal, really, and, think of it this way: no more jet judo.”

 

Slowly the other lowered his weapons. Right, they were a trine, family, they didn’t leave each other behind, and no more jet judo sounded indeed very tempting, but before he could come to a decision the other two suddenly charged at him, though not as an attack.

 

Just by a hair the seekers could avoid being shot down by a very prominent fusion canon. Obviously Megatron had decided before them where their loyalties laid, although he probably hadn’t thought about the consequences.

 

Cybertron’s most skilled seeker-trine flying in formation had always been a sight to behold, but have them charge at the Decepticon Lord and force him to retreat was something the Autobots would remember for a long time.

 

When the last Decepticon had vanished the seekers landed again, Starscream making sure that it was close to Jazz. Some friendly banter between them surely would ease the hostility against his cousins, at least enough to prevent some fool to challenge them. Skywarp was still not entirely convinced and having him attack someone would not help.

 

“Hadn’t ye promised not ta let anything provoke ye?”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“And charging at ol’ bin head is what?”

 

“Using an opportunity.”

 

Ignoring the bickering mechs Prowl approached Thundercracker.

 

“Does your offer still stand?”

 

“I don’t give my word lightly” the monochrome mech replied calmly, but with a little smirk in his brother’s direction.

 

“Wait, does that mean mister `obey the rules or fear my wrath´ had a secret alliance with a seeker?” Sideswipe gasped, but Prowl just pointed out that they actually just shared a common ground of understanding and that Jazz had also done it, worse, technically.

 

“Yeah, but that is Jazz, not you.”

 

“I’m more surprised I didn’t notice” the saboteur admitted.

 

“There are many things you don’t know, Jazz. Get used to it. Oh, and by the way: owned!”

 

The second in command transformed and sped away, his brother on his heels only a few shocked seconds later. He couldn’t just let Prowl strain his reputation, not without a suiting reply at least and a trickle war sounded rather suiting right now. Propriety was over rated anyway.

 

Skywarp looked from the chasing brothers, to the other Autobots, to his trinemates and back again.

 

“We exchanged one insane asylum against another? Well, what the frag?!”

 

“A most fitting place for us then. Say, Screamer, you live with him or do you have your own room.”

 

“What do you know about him and me?” the tricoloured seeker asked frowning and also a bit weary, but Thundercracker only smirked.

 

“Who do you think covered you two all the time?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two old friends have a long and necessary talk about relationships and the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a hell lotta pairings being mentioned in this chapter, but only in the context of "yep, they exist".

* * *

 

“Primus hates me” Optimus sighed and sunk into his chair after one of the longest days of his life, and that had to mean something.

 

Actually had he come to that conclusion a long time ago already. He had even traced it back to the exact moment when things had started to go downhill. Many would think it had been the orn the twins had been transferred to his unit, because nobody except Red Alert and Prowl could keep them in line, but that had just been one of the more troublesome orns, just like the one when his tactician and their security officer had admitted to have secretly bonded, although it was an unwritten rule to at least clear that with your superiors first. It wasn’t that Optimus would have tried to talk them out of it, but he would have preferred to be informed about it _before_ Prowl had gone missing after a battle, which had caused Red Alert – who after Prime’s knowledge had never before voluntarily left the base – to grab some explosives and also vanish without even leaving a note or instructions on how to handle his security net. Granted, thanks to their bond both had returned filthy and dented, but alive enough to be put back together and get chewed out by their medic, but he really would have preferred a little warning beforehand.

 

On the other hand, he wondered if a mere warning really would have prepared him for this. He had after all known that his second and third were brothers that time around and that there had been a time when Jazz had been the responsible one out of the two, hard as it was to imagine. Knowing that had made it less surprising to find out both monochromes had separately made agreements with Megatron’s elite trine, but that hadn’t made dealing with the fall out any easier and it wasn’t even nearly over yet.

 

How in the name of all that was holy and not was he supposed to keep everything and more importantly every _one_ from being blown up, smashed to pieces and/or dragged into a prank war of epic proportions?

 

And all that because Primus had seen fit to make the mechs most suited for the positions as head tactician and head of special ops brothers.

 

“I think he’s just having a laugh at our expense.”

 

“We’re long past that stage, old friend. We have to face the truth: Primus hates us.”

 

“If he does” Ratchet argued exhausted and let himself fall into the chair opposite of Optimus. It certainly wasn’t as comfortable as Prime’s, but for now it would do. “At least one of those idiots will end up with sparkling soon.”

 

A shudder went through both mechs as they imagined that. Thundercracker and Skywarp would probably have a schizophrenic youngling, always switching between the most prominent character traits of its creators, while any offspring from Prowl and Red Alert couldn’t be anything but super smart and prone to paranoia. Hound and Mirage ... now that was something they would be able to deal with, if one ignored that they would probably be constantly searching for it, but Hound was the best trekker in this universe and, if push came to shove, they could always just follow the small muddy footprints it was bound to leave wherever it went. Blurr and Wheeljack would have a little time bomb that gave everyone a run for their money, literally, and Cliffjumper and Bumblebee ... people tended to forget that the yellow minibot was part of special ops for a reason. Prime could clearly picture a little orange youngling sneaking into the Nemesis undetected to give Megatron a piece of its mind and, if they managed to catch it beforehand, it would just look all cute and innocent with a over proportional large gun and a digit in its mouth.

 

Yes, that youngling would be the ban of their existence, but it would be harmless in comparison of any offspring Jazz and Starscream might produce. All he could come up with in that regard was the personification `epic doom´. The only thing worse would be if all the couples ended up with sparklings around the same time and he didn’t even want to think about the possibility of twins.

 

Actually, talking about twins ...

 

“Ratchet? Just how serious is that ... agreement between you and the twins? Not that I want to complain about the drop of pranks and flying tools, but ...”

 

“Do you want me to say a few choice words about your own love life? No? Then don’t ask about mine” the medic deadpanned and Prime decided he really didn’t want to know.

 

“Suddenly I’m very glad about the invention of Stupidity Blockers.”

 

“Yes, about that ...”

 

“Oh, for the love of Primus, don’t tell me ...”

 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. They don’t last forever and being in stasis for _five thousand years_ hadn’t exactly been part of the plan. Besides, there had been more important things to worry about than preservatives.”

 

Groaning Optimus sunk deeper into his chair. Great, so either he faced certain doom and allowed his soldiers to merrily procreate, or he went and called Magnus off all people and asked for a shipload of StuBlos, meaning he would have to explain in the process that his so called `elite troop´ was, when it came down to it, nothing more than bunch of petro-rabbits, mostly insane petro-rabbits at that, likely in heat as well.

 

That was one tough decision to make.

 

“Kind of makes assassinating Megatron sound like a good idea?”

 

“Not you, too, Ratchet. We talked ...”

 

“Yes, yes, I know and you are right with the moral and all, but think about it this way: with Megatron gone we could ditch this mud ball and get the Pit out of here before they decided the best way to save our kind is to procreate.”

 

“Don’t tempt me.”

 

“Well, the other option is to get blasted off our afts so we won’t have to deal with this.”

 

“That would be cheating.”

 

“You mean like pretending to have crashed your processor so you won’t have to deal with Jazz bringing home a seeker?”

 

“You make it sound as if he picked up a stray ... No, you’re right. Point taken. One of us would have to get up and go to my stash tho- ... is that Sideswipe’s homebrew?”

 

Ratchet just grinned and pulled a second cube out of subspace.

 

“Being their favourite certainly has its peaks. Now all you have to do is ask yourself two questions: can we really risk leaving them to their own device and is it really worth the hangover?”

 

For a moment the Prime pondered over their options. It would indeed be irresponsible to leave earth and human kind at the mercy of his officers, even if it would only be for a day or two, and the hangover Sideswipes homebrew created was epic, but then the image of said officers and the possible sparklings they could create returned and he grabbed the cube.

 

“To the Pits with it, old friend. We have to deal with their slag all the time, let’s show them the revenge of the hangover.”

 

“Amen, my friend. Amen”

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned Stupidity Blockers in this chapter. They are a preservate, a device to be put onto the spark case to prevent pregnancy, or whatever you want to call it.  
> I think I picked the name or the concept up from someone else. I'm not entirely certain. It's been a while.


End file.
